I went out quickly from a side corridor and found the crying lady immediately.
It was snowing outside and she just wore a very thin coat.
“what happened? Where’s your husband? ”
She cried even harder… she was such a happy soul. “He divorced with me. He was not able to keep the marriage because I am not Aryan.”
“are you kidding!?”I asked but I knew the answer is “No. nobody’s kidding.”
“cheer up my dear, tell me where I can find the asshole!”still I believe, there could be a way, or someway to cover.
“he is inside.”
That’s why she’s here.
“you wait here, I’ll go and fetch him!”I turned around.
“chelle!”I thought Tubbi was calling me, but it was not her. It was my best friend Mareik.
“Gosh my dear!”I almost bumped into her arms.
“what happened to Tubbi?” she asked before I tried to drag her away.
We three girls were always having coffee on weekends before. But now…
Tubbi explained.
I saw Mareik’s eyes turned red. “You better just give up Tubbi, they won’t allow the marriage.”
“right, why you married J. You are bestfriends aren’t you!? How could…”
I stopped, because I saw Mareik’s tears as well.
“P is Polish… you know that… and they found him, sent him back to Warschau.”
“But he grown up in Germany, he even has a German passport!”
Mareik was just crying and shaking her head.
“I am not better than you two… Phil got Sabi.”
“oh no…” tubbi was shocked
“sorry I didn’t tell you because I am afraid you will be sad.”Mareik was upset.
“no, not sad but pissed. Why he chose her!? Other girls are dead or what!?”I lied, well the 2nd half was true.
“Sabi’s father chose him.”Mareik told the truth.
I need to stop thinking, it makes me sick.
“only Anne and Sebasti are still fine and… somehow happy.”Mareik murmured.
“at least there’s one happy…”Tubbi’s words have been interrupted by somebody else.
He was wearing the black uniform as well. He rushed to me “chelle!”
Warm blue eyes, dark blond hair, oh Danny,my danny. I didn’t see him for months.
“I miss you so much! How’s everything? How’s the baby?”yes he was a new father.
He fell to deadly silence, and he looked like a dead person as well. Pale and exhausted.
“I was called back to Germany last month. And I brought my girlfriend and daughter secretly with me.”
“and where are they now!?”I felt somethingbad and just wanted to cry.
Danny turned his head aside.
No… please. I can’t take more bad news.
“chelle, go, leave Germany. Tonight, as soon as possible.”
“where shall I go!?” I can’t back to China, I have no home there in 1941. My only home, is in Germany, in Ruhrgebiet.
“I know you love this country.”Danny said anxiously “but it’s not the right time! He is not loving you!”
I knew it’s the truth, but still hurted like hell.
“do me a big favor my friend, take my daughter away, she is still alive. I can’t adopt her here, otherwise we both die.”Danny begged me.
I don’t want to leave Germany. I know it’s crazy, I might be killed, by either the noble Aryan or the Russian later. I know the result of the war.
But I still felt difficult to make the decision. I know I must be insane. But I felt pain. I don’t want to leave my friends as well, no matter for whom they are working, no matter what ID they have now.
I want to stay with them, not escape.
“chelle, pls leave here.” Mareik said the same “I can check with Svenja if her cousin could send you to Hamburg Habour tonight, go to the US, you have friends there, be alive.”
“but…”
“we will survive.”Mareik averred.
I can’t help to tremble. “I am not afraid, I don’t want to leave.”
“you have to. For my daughter’s sake.”Danny looked at me with huge sorrow.
I stopped arguing, gave them my permission silently. Danny went away immediately to take his baby daughter here. Marek went inside to inform Svenja for arranging my escape.
I was standing in the snow, alone, for a moment. Lots of memories was flying in my mind, can’t stop.
And I found out I fell into a warm hug, I thought… or I hoped it’s Phil.
But it’s J. He is like my young dad sometimes, always taking care of me, protect me from the danger.
He held me from the back, lowered his back and put his chin on my shoulder. Everytime when he was drunk, he would come to me and behaving as innocent as a child.
“Don’t hate me. Don’t remember what I’ve done. And don’t fall in love with me, I am not a free man.” My tear was holding back by the last sentence, he is always teasing me.
“J, bleib leben weiter. Bitte.”
Why it’s so sad. I never had been attacked by such sorrow. I was too weak to handle…
The moment didn’t last long. Basti’s helicopter landed loudly on the lawn covered by white snow.
I’ve been pushed out gently, and I heard J’s whisper at my ear “Auf Wiedersehen meine kleine Chinesin.”
Just can’t stop the tears. Warm tears ran out constantly.
I flew with Basti, holding Danny’s little baby.
I looked down from the helicopter, I saw the lights drew a map with lines on the ground. I can’t see anything but the lightening lines.
I was leaving. Maybe it was the last time I saw this country, from the high sky.
Auf Wiedersehen.
-----------------------------------
醒来清醒之后，情绪渐渐散去，觉得现世真好。
Danny发来他抱着女儿的照片，笑得一脸暖意。他的中德混血宝宝。
M妞儿依然跟Paul好好的在一起，去了温暖的海边度假，whatsapp消息不断。
Tubbi和她家T也回了曼谷休假，脸书上更新的让人羡慕。
Jostie依旧Lync上戳我撒娇“下雪了，是不是该吃火锅了”
“等我从中国回来”
“你还有两周才走！竟然让我等到你回来！”
“等不等！”
“等！”
所以这个梦，是让我更珍惜眼前的这些人么。
我会的呀，一直都会的...